It's been a long night of "wrestle mania" .... Whew is all I can say .... There are places we come to in our journey's that we encounter "Ourselves" it is at these places we sometimes become entangled with "The TRUTH" .... someone else had some wrestlings with the TRUTH too .. in the Bible .....
Genesis 32: 22 And he rose up that night, and took his two wives, and his two womenservants, and his eleven sons, and passed over the ford Jabbok. v23 And he took them, and sent them over the brook, and sent over all that he had. v24 And Jacob was left alone; and there wrestled a man with him until the breaking of the day. v25 And when he saw that he prevailed not against him, he touched the hollow of his thigh; and the hollow of Jacob's thigh was out of joint, as he wrestled with him. v26 And he said, Let me go, for the day breaks. And he said, I will not let thee go, except thou bless me. v27 And he said unto him, What is thy name? And he said, Jacob.
v28 And he said, Thy name shall be called no more Jacob, but Israel: for as a prince thou hast power with God and with men, and hast prevailed. v29 And Jacob asked him, and said, Tell me, I pray thee, thy name. And he said, Wherefore is it that thou dost ask after my name? And he blessed him there. v30 And Jacob called the name of the place Peniel: for I have seen God face to face, and my life is preserved.
Wrestlings .... oh my, oh my .... The whole crux of the matter is .... CHANGE .... and the ideas, ideal's, concepts, motives and attitudes .... come under fire ..... it's down on the "mat" time and the round begins .... only this wrestling match is just a ONE ROUNDER .... cause I was determined to not let go till I had an answer ..... The Journey of Seeking Truth part #1 was me going into the match ...... so much built up in my mind and emotions I wasn't sure where to begin. This morning the answer came .... SOFTLY .... not in blaring lights or loud trumpets of victory... but in a gentle soft resolve .... a whisper of an answer .... I had to CHOSE to listen to.
THE ANSWER ..... was not that of loud demands or threats of annihilation ..... it was not an overwhelming "THIS IS THE WAY TO DO THIS" ..... but a soft gentle whisper almost totally unrecognizable. ..... Deep inside me .... It's still so new I am not sure about it .... I am afraid to even hardly move .... like a shy kitten who may bolt at any moment .... But I know .... it is there like the smallest seed, planted in furrowed fertilized soil ..... one small seed!! ...... I must water it with obedience ..... was reading a Pastor ' Facebook page .... I hope this isn't wrong but I have to post what he wrote .....
By: Tom Springer .... Can I tell you something else this morning? The Holy Spirit, God right down here in the now, God with us, can be grieved, blasphemed, hindered, quenched and resisted. That cannot be said of God in Heaven and is not said. But, it is said of the Holy Spirit. So, we just honor, honor, honor the form of God not present, while resisting if by no other means, then marginalizing the form of God’s very presence. I sometimes wonder how grieved, how hindered, how quenched He actually is. I know this, where He is honored, sought after, daily experienced divine life flows easily, like promised, like a river. I know this, where we mind the things concerning the Spirit, condemnation lifts off us and we have life and peace with God. I know that because of experience, I know that because the B.I.B.L.E tells me so.
This piece here, this morning .... finally allowed the smallest of voices to become audible in my spirit. The struggle will be to walk in this newness .... to obey what I know I have to do ..... BUT .... let me make this perfectly clear ..... this is AN ANSWER FOR ME !! not the world, not my friends or family not anyone else ..... it has become MY CHOICE ..... and I choose this day whom I will serve .
.... Ok so what was the struggle?? ....... my concepts, ideals and attitudes about my appearances .... my hair, my, earrings, and my mode of dress .... although my mode of dress was resolved a while ago. .... and yes I have choosen to wear a skirt or dress and not pants ..... (and yes sometimes when I have to do a man's job because of who I am and what I do for a living and because we own our own home and sometimes you have to just DO IT ... cause you can't afford to hire anyone .... I will have to don pants .... ) other then that ... I am trusting God to provide for me the necessary needed apparel to wear to accommodate this change. ..... BUT ..... YES .... back to the struggle .... my earrings and hair .... oh me, oh my ..... TRUST was an issue ..... I was able to trust God for the provision of skirts and dresses BUT ..... I DID NOT WANT TO ENTERTAIN, THINK ON OR EVEN CONSIDER I COULD TRUST HIM WITH THE EAR-LOBES AND MY HAIR SITUATION !! sigh !!!!! again it was a long night of wrestlings ..... My earrings were a major thing ..... to me .... they were a symbol, and a part of me .... they were a comfort and a constant companion. ........ They had become a small idol!! ....... I was at war over them in my mind and heart ....... YET ...... YET ..... I knew I had to tear down all idols in my life .... I kept hearing .... "yet I have somewhat against you" .... deep down inside me ..... that still small voice. ...... then this morning .... actually within the last few minutes ..... I am hearing stronger inside me this peaceful still voice gentle and kind ..... "if you can trust Me with your clothes, you can trust Me with your earlobes and hair ..... I will provide!! ......... PROVISION .... let me share with you ..... I have not owned a dress or skirt for years ..... about 2 or 3 years ago a skirt came into my posession and I just kept it .... I couldn't get rid of it .... actually it kind of got buried in my wardrobe .... then my daughter left me a black dress .... it was her grandmother's ..... again I thought I'd keep it for sentimental reasons ..... I wore pants to church for years and continued to wear them to this new church ..... for a time .... then one day I got out the dress then the skirt to wear .... I shared with others I didn't have any skirts or dresses except the two pieces and ask God to provide ..... I was TRULY BLESSED!! with a whole new wardrobe. ....... SOOOO .... back to this new territory of my earlobes and hair ..... I am taking a stand God will provide because that ...... mirror in my bathroom really dictates to me on a daily basis who I am, how I feel and how I look ...... as a woman .... I have it ingrained in me by our culture THIS IS IMPORTANT!! ........ BUT ........ THE HOLY SPIRIT is now ingraining in me how I am ADORNED INSIDE IS EVEN MORE IMPORTANT!! ........... so .... my TRUTH SEEKING Journey is under way again ....... Blessings !!
No comments:
Post a Comment