Not sure where to begin ….. “What is a Manager?” or What is a Wife and Mother? these are my current titles in the world today….. or ….. “What the heck am I doing?” ….. or ….. The overall picture of my life?” …… or ….. “This is the way I see things!” …..
.... I still have several more titles being run through in my mind that I hold but ......
#1)...... Being a 60 year old female .... yahhhh!!
#2) Living a high end stressful job ..... oh yah
#3) The effects of Home Life on a Job ... or ... The Effects of a Job on Home Life ..... Hallelujah!
As I sit and comtemplate on my life and the current things I am reading and thinking on ..... I again realize that all that I am wrapped in a nut shell does not totally define me .... but only if my name is written in the Lamb's Book of Life, and if when all is said and done I can hear Him say "well done good and faithful servant."......
Matthew 25:21 “The master was full of praise. ‘Well done, my good and faithful servant. You have been faithful in handling this small amount, so now I will give you many more responsibilities. Let’s celebrate together!’
This has been a week of facing truths not an easy week to say the least. Between incidents and happening that did happen and the consequences that ensued, and reading some rather strong articles about TRUTH .... and then listening to my Pastor preach on truth ...... (actually his message was on Matthew 25:1 - 13 the Ten Virgins) but the message spoke to me about facing some truths in my life .... AGAIN! I have termed this past week as a rattler 8.0 earthquake in my life. .........
I titled this post as "Too Many Titles, Not Enough Room" ..... In reality I have willingly allowed myself to be pulled into a million directions, causing divisions, multiple layered emotions & feelings, Placing so many irons so to speak in fires around me that I have figuratively had to borrow irons from other people and other places .... because I was too foolish to realize God only gives each person so many irons and He expects you to use your own! ....... as I am writing this i am hearing this gentle voice in my ear saying ..... PUFFED UP IN MYSELF'S ABILITIES!! ...... Ouch! OoWww! ......
All said and done .... I have slow been lulled by my own self into a spiral downwards .... I choke on the word SIN but if I am going to honest and speak the TRUTH ..... I allowed SIN to creep in, I chose to make myself UNAWARE of what was taking place, and I allowed myself to become decieved into a half-truth.
Romans 7: 7 Well then, am I suggesting that the law of God is sinful? Of course not! In fact, it was the law that showed me my sin. I would never have known that coveting is wrong if the law had not said, “You must not covet.”
v8 But sin used this command to arouse all kinds of covetous desires within me! If there were no law, sin would not have that power.
I love the movie Dennis the Menace where Walter Matthau plays Mr. Wilson. It seemed every time Dennis wasn't suppose to touch something his fingers started to twitch and .... he just had to touch it. ..... Thats exactly what I am like ..... and to be honest I am not alone ..... this mentality has has lead me in some very unpredictable situations, ... that I am now sure God just shook His head and took His hands off .....
v9 At one time I lived without understanding the law. But when I learned the command not to covet, for instance, the power of sin came to life,
v10 and I died. So I discovered that the law’s commands, which were supposed to bring life, brought spiritual death instead.
v11 Sin took advantage of those commands and deceived me; it used the commands to kill me.
I have been slowly "dying" every since .... dying from "self inflicted" stress, issues, circumstances, happenings and problems ..... When I say self inflicted ..... my "Justice System" ( see post Mental Clutter #1) and my need to feel wanted and needed and LIKED ..... in it's self, principle wise wasn't bad .... but then when I take off and run ahead of God is when these become a disaster in my life. That's when SIN kicks in and grabs me by the "stupid" and it becomes sad sad sad!!
v12 But still, the law itself is holy, and its commands are holy and right and good.
v13 But how can that be? Did the law, which is good, cause my death? Of course not! Sin used what was good to bring about my condemnation to death. So we can see how terrible sin really is. It uses God’s good commands for its own evil purposes.
The truth is I have had way too many titles and hats to wear ..... more of them self inflicted then God given. Matter of fact my titles and hats have almost covered up what God gave me .... and now I am on this journey to refind and re-discover who I am suppose to be and what He wants me to do.
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