The Journey of "Seeking Truth"

What is TRUTH?
John 8:32   And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.

1st John 1:4 And these things write we unto you, that your joy may be full.
v5 This then is the message which we have heard of him, and declare unto you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all. v6 If we say that we have fellowship with him, and walk in darkness, we lie, and do not the truth:  v7 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanses us from all sin. v8 If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us

John 3:21 But he that does truth comes to the light, that his deeds may be made manifest, that they are wrought in God.

John 4:23 But the hour comes, and now is, when the true worshippers shall worship the Father in spirit and in truth: for the Father seeks such to worship him. v24 God is a Spirit: and they that worship him must worship him in spirit and in truth.

     I think ... for everyone who just wants the truth, seeking it and the journey is 99% of the battle. But truth be told TRUTH is like a gold mine .... a vein here and a vein there running through the mountain of false statements, ideals, teachings & lies, man made customs, cultures and practices, born from generation to generation .... but once you get a taste of TRUTH, your like a blood hound on a search to find it .... then you need to find more and more .....  

     Years of growing up and attending several different religious denominations .... Each one having their own set of rules, beliefs and culturally accepted practices ..... has brought me to this place in my life. ...... 

      In each different belief system there has been accepted things and taboos" and "no no's" accepted as "sacred, scriptural &  spiritual" ...... In each setting there is those who comply readily, those who do for a season and those who question after a time ....... It is "those who question things after a time" I probably fall into more often then not ...... and for me it is like a nemesis to me .... ( for those who want the actual meaning of "nemesis") it is a noun, plural nemeses  [nem-uh-seez] 1.something  a person cannot conquer, achieve, etc.: (The performance test proved to be my nemesis.)

2.opponent or rival whom a person cannot best or overcome.

This seeking truth of all things isn't always my friend .... I find I loose more friends and make more "enemies" then I can count ..... simply because somethings I can't just accept as TRUTH what they tell me ..... 

       TRUTH .... despite it's cost is like owning priceless jewels, diamonds and gold! .... Once you find it you hid it deep inside and cling to it, protect it and hold onto it ...... 

      So ..... what if ..... you come across a situation, where you end up in a place that you truly love ... And you hear the truth spoken not just a smattering or a goodly helping, Not the truth mingled with some man made customs and practices but the REAL TRUTH? ...... BUT ........ along with this rare find of pure gold TRUTH ..... is others who adhere to "things & beliefs", .... customs that have been accepted as"truth" that you know different ..... Not that you couldn't abide by the practices or customs but as a principle that has been ingrained so deeply in you to KNOW THE TRUTH ..... that now the conflict begins again .....  

    John 4:23 But the hour comes, and now is, when the true worshippers shall worship the Father in spirit and in truth: for the Father seeks such to worship Him. ....... We are to worship in spirit and TRUTH ...... again ... what is truth? ...... I attended a Bible Study for a season .... It was awesome .... We sang, we worshipped then we studied the Word ..... Sigh!! ..... Then the leader began to insist we hang up anything from the outside world and get into worship ..... like NOW !!! ..... and there was nothing wrong with the basic concept ..... EXCEPT .... I literally left work in the evening and drove the mile and a half to the Bible Study ..... with literally sometimes the "world on my shoulders" .... I needed .... a few minutes to shake it off and get with it ...... BUT ..... that's not what the leader really had in mind ..... I loved this person dearly ..... they would spend sometimes hours prior to coming to lead the study in prayer and worship ..... some of us who attended came directly from our jobs and the world outside ..... I could not fake it and would not fake it ..... How could I fake worship in spirit and truth if I had to fake it ... It may have been in some kind of "spirit" but definitely not in TRUTH!

From there crept in some "false teachings". When I confronted the leader in regards to some of the "false teaching" they were not receptive ..... I showed them scripturally that it was a false teaching ..... NOTHING ..... and sadly I had to choose not to go back. 

      So what is the big "situation" now you ask? ........ actually over the years I had been acquainted with several people from this particular line of beliefs ..... all women, all really nice people ....... BUT .... sadly prone to lying .... one precious lady who I worked with informed me after I caught her in a rather bold face lie .... "that it was ok to tell me anything she wanted because I was going to hell anyway"...... (this was after we had, had numerous discussions about our identical shared beliefs in Jesus Christ. ) yep .... I was hurt!! baffled!! and totally taken off guard! ) Another fine lady was a business owner of a hobby store, I stopped by one day thinking I would become involved in this particular hobby I use to find great pleasure in doing ....  matter of fact had done for some years so I was fairly knowledgeable. As I began to ask her questions she began to"tell me things I knew different" ..... I tried to ask questions several different ways feeling maybe she didn't understand me .... NOP! .... she was just being her religious self and lying!! .... I was wearing clothing, jewelry and had my hairstyle in opposition to her religious beliefs. ....... so now what's my dilemma? ..... I am smack dab .... @ a church where 1/2 of the population believe like this .... and the other half really still believe like this but is willing to accept those who dress & look different .... BUT still feel that you may be going to hell and unable to have the Holy Spirit unless you stop wearing jewelry & stop cutting your hair. ...... and the Pastor is awesome and just preaches the truth and doesn't touch these issues .... He feels it's for me to decide. 

     So what have I decided?? .... THAT I AM WADING THROUGH A VERY DEEP MUDDY SITUATION ... that I am not sure how to wade out of or can fully accept until totally examined from every angle.  .......  John 8:32   And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free. ..... What is the truth here? ....... After much study in in the Word and diligently looking up passages in 1st Timothy 2:9, 1st and Peter 3:3 & 5 where it addresses women specifically 

1st Peter 2:8 I will therefore that men pray every where, lifting up holy hands, without wrath and doubting. v9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;

v10 But (which become women professing godliness) with good works. v11 Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. v12 But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. v13 For Adam was first formed, then Eve.

 v14 And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.

v15 Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.

NIV 8 Therefore I want the men everywhere to pray, lifting up holy hands without anger or disputing. 9 I also want the women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves, not with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, 10 but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God.

11 A woman[a] should learn in quietness and full submission. 12 I do not permit a woman to teach or to assume authority over a man;[b]she must be quiet. 13 For Adam was formed first, then Eve. 14 And Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner. 15 But women[c] will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith, love and holiness with propriety. (what about those women who can't bear kids due to health or physical reasons? do they go to hell?) God forbide !! NO .... if they accept Jesus as their Lord and Savior they go to heaven like everyone else who accepts His death, burial, & resuurection ... 

The Message ... 8-10 Since prayer is at the bottom of all this, what I want mostly is for men to pray—not shaking angry fists at enemies but raising holy hands to God. And I want women to get in there with the men in humility before God, not primping before a mirror or chasing the latest fashions but doing something beautiful for God and becoming beautiful doing it.

11-15 I don’t let women take over and tell the men what to do. They should study to be quiet and obedient along with everyone else. Adam was made first, then Eve; woman was deceived first—our pioneer in sin!—with Adam right on her heels. On the other hand, her childbearing brought about salvation, reversing Eve. But this salvation only comes to those who continue in faith, love, and holiness, gathering it all into maturity. You can depend on this.

1st Peter 3: 3 & 5 3 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; 2 While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. 3 Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; 4 But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. 5 For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands:

1-4 The same goes for you wives: Be good wives to your husbands, responsive to their needs. There are husbands who, indifferent as they are to any words about God, will be captivated by your life of holy beauty. What matters is not your outer appearance—the styling of your hair, the jewelry you wear, the cut of your clothes—but your inner disposition.

4-6 Cultivate inner beauty, the gentle, gracious kind that God delights in. The holy women of old were beautiful before God that way, and were good, loyal wives to their husbands. Sarah, for instance, taking care of Abraham, would address him as “my dear husband.” You’ll be true daughters of Sarah if you do the same, unanxious and unintimidated.

OK ... a whole doctrine was developed ages and eons ago from these verses ... 1st Corinthians 11:14 - 15 ... v1 Be ye followers of me, even as I also am of Christ. v2 Now I praise you, brethren, that ye remember me in all things, and keep the ordinances, as I delivered them to you. v3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God. v4 Every man praying or prophesying, having his head covered, dishonors his head. v5 But every woman that prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head: for that is even all one as if she were shaven. v6 For if the woman be not covered, let her also be shorn: but if it be a shame for a woman to be shorn or shaven, let her be covered. v7 For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, forasmuch as he is the image and glory of God: but the woman is the glory of the man. v8 For the man is not of the woman: but the woman of the man. v9 Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man. v10 For this cause ought the woman to have power on her head because of the angels. v11 Nevertheless neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord. v12 For as the woman is of the man, even so is the man also by the woman; but all things of God. v13 Judge in yourselves: is it comely that a woman pray unto God uncovered? v14 Doth not even nature itself teach you, that, if a man have long hair, it is a shame unto him? v15 But if a woman have long hair, it is a glory to her: for her hair is given her for a covering. v16 But if any man seem to be contentious, we have no such custom, neither the churches of God. v17 Now in this that I declare unto you I praise you not, that ye come together not for the better, but for the worse.

1 Cor.11 1-2 It pleases me that you continue to remember and honor me by keeping up the traditions of the faith I taught you. All actual authority stems from Christ.

3-9 In a marriage relationship, there is authority from Christ to husband, and from husband to wife. The authority of Christ is the authority of God. Any man who speaks with God or about God in a way that shows a lack of respect for the authority of Christ, dishonors Christ. In the same way, a wife who speaks with God in a way that shows a lack of respect for the authority of her husband, dishonors her husband. Worse, she dishonors herself—an ugly sight, like a woman with her head shaved. This is basically the origin of these customs we have of women wearing head coverings in worship, while men take their hats off. By these symbolic acts, men and women, who far too often butt heads with each other, submit their “heads” to the Head: God.

10-12 Don’t, by the way, read too much into the differences here between men and women. Neither man nor woman can go it alone or claim priority. Man was created first, as a beautiful shining reflection of God—that is true. But the head on a woman’s body clearly outshines in beauty the head of her “head,” her husband. The first woman came from man, true—but ever since then, every man comes from a woman! And since virtually everything comes from God anyway, let’s quit going through these “who’s first” routines.

13-16 Don’t you agree there is something naturally powerful in the symbolism—a woman, her beautiful hair reminiscent of angels, praying in adoration; a man, his head bared in reverence, praying in submission? I hope you’re not going to be argumentative about this. All God’s churches see it this way; I don’t want you standing out as an exception.

      Clothing, jewelry & hair ..... short , long , men & women ..... a lot to think on .... A lot to consider .... For me as a woman ..... I have dressed accordingly as most of our culture does here in America, I have without much ado .... chosen jewelry, cut my hair, dyed my hair and wore hair styles complimentary of this age for a woman. ..... During this period of my life I have experienced the baptism of the Holy Spirit, with evidence of speaking in tongues, I have ministered, I have taught, I have been part of services where the Holy Spirit was strong on me (all this was done @ one time or another wearing the attire and adorned with pieces of jewelry, pants, and cut hair. ) Now .... where I am at, I am being told to let my hair grow naturally, remove the earrings & jewelry, and wear only dresses or skirts. ....... The Pastor says my choice ..... in my time ..... yet I have those who feel .... indicate .... slightly mention .... make reference to .... the matter that I am not saved if I wear earrings and cut my hair ...... Here is the dilemma ..... years of believing one way clashing with a belief system that I have felt for years is cultic, and not scriptural .... Now I am seeing that for some .... YES it is false teachings .... and yes false teachings open the doors to a lying spirit ..... BUT .... then there is the concept that .... we as a woman chose to accept this varying form of "dress" to say we are different, that we have chosen to follow this belief , this way of truth ..... For me .... it has been a conflict of who I am and who I want to be .... a conflict of who I want others to see me as and who are they who see me? .... I have not had "long" hair since 1971 .... In the preceding years I have had it shoulder length .... but that was it .... I also have dyed my hair .... tried to go naturally gray only to feel like YUK!!!! .... so I went blonde instead. ....... and my earrings became part of my attire in 1976 .... I was 22 and had my ears pierced.  I am now turning 61. .... 

YOU CAN'T FIX STUPID!

You can't fix stupid .... stupid has to fix it's self .... 
"STUPID" dictionary definition .... adj.. 1) Very slow of apprehension or understanding. 2) Affected with stupor; stupefied, 3) Marked by or resulting from lack of understanding, reason, or wit.; senseless 4) Tedious; dull ...
"STUPOR" .... noun ... 1) A condition in which the senses and faculties are suspended or greatly dulled as by drugs or liquor 2) Mental or moral dullness; gross stupidity ....

      Oh dear ... Oh dear .... the people who are dull of understanding; who have allowed their senses to be suspended and greatly dulled! .... who are lacking common sense, reason & wit ..... 

    James 4:17 (AMP) So any person who knows what is right to do but does not do it, to him it is sin.

Ok so there it is .... simply put .... a human condition that is at epidemic proportions .... To address my statement ... "You can't fix stupid .... stupid has to fix it's self" I have been running into an extremely high amount of humanoids with brains in "The Stupor Condition" .....
#1) A mother who chose to pick meth over her 5 year old child and abandons them .....
#2) A father who feels he is invincible and encourages his child to misbehave so he can beat the child
#3) A young female driving another persons vehicle, so strung out on drugs the vehicle is wobbling
       not to mention this girl is wobbling when she exits her vehicle.
#4) A man who is so full of pride he refuses to admit he has hearing  / memory issues and can't
       remember 2 seconds after you tell him something then gets haunty with you when he makes a
       mistake.
#5) A woman so embittered by her life she doesn't realize how hateful she treats others and how
       twisted she thinks of others ....
#6) A person who has been a long standing "member" of a church who uses the position ..... to mask
       underlying serious issues and forces others to mask their problem also through immature acts of
       feigned self pity and self righteousness.
#7) A person who has a mental illness and has spawned children with the same ...... who condemns
       their kids for their lack of wanting help yet refuses to get help theirself .....
#8) A person who gets you in a conversation and tells you several stories all conflicting each other in
      a matter of 10 minutes ..... and is so engrossed they forgot they told you somethiung totally
     different 5 minutes before ..... (example: .... Question?: are you still with "So&So"? "oh no .. I'm 
     no longer with them .... I'm by myself" .... forward 5 minutes ... Hey So&So can you get me a 
     drink? yah ... So&So is going to go with me .... " ) At this point your like throw this whole
     conversation out the window this person is a pathological liar!! ....
#9) 14 year old child has a cigarette in their hand ... you walk into the room .... they put it behind their
       back ...  you say "are you smoking?" they say "No I don't have anything!!"
#10) ..... you call a friend on their cell phone, who you know has a gambling problem .... "hey are you home? I was going to stop by. ..... "I'm home (ching ching... lots of laughter and voices, music & a loudspeaker going off  .... clang, clink, chink ) but I have a headache could you stop by tomorrow?

I love the movie "Dumb & Dumber "..... it's a true tear jerker .... it's too real to life to be funny! LOL.

The Morphing Journey Begins .....

I have always been fasinated with the caterpillar to butterfly story  ..... I remember as a child watching 

Monarch Butterflies coming out of their Chrysalis and then seeing in school as they did an experiment on one and helped it come out of their chrysalis .... and the poor butterfly was never able to fly, and soon died because it's wings were too heavy to carry it anywhere ......

  

    God never intended for us to experience "MORPHING" ..... but due to some circumstances beyond our control .... eons and ages ago a woman named Eve was talked into some fruit on a tree she wasn't suppose to touch .... and then was fed a line of half truths that she bought hook line and sinker ..... Then she batted her eye lashes and talked her man into sharing in the bad decision with her ..... and the rest is history.  ..... Thus MORPHING became into being ...... and this is my story and I'm sticking to it! ..... When we are "born again" we don't enter into a womb and get reborn ..... What happens is we are created .... made with the capabilities of a triune being .... in our mother's womb.
Genesis 1:26 Then God said, “Let us make human beings in our image, to be like us. They will reign over the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, the livestock, all the wild animals on the earth,[c] and the small animals that scurry along the ground.”
27 So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.
    We are born into this human realm "Triune Ready"; we are born with a  natural body, a soul and a place for a spirit to abide. Some call the soul "our human spirit" nevertheless the place for the Spirit is only deposited by God when a human comes to realize they need God ..... Then due to circumstances again way long ago and due to the legal ownership issues that occurred  in the Garden of Eden .... when Adam & Eve ate the fruit .... and transferred ownship of planet earth to Lucifer GOD HAD A PLAN !!

John1:1 In the beginning the Word already existed.  The Word was with God, The Word was with God,and the Word was God.

2 He existed in the beginning with God.

3 God created everything through him, and nothing was created except through him.

4 The Word gave life to everything that was created,and his life brought light to everyone.

5 The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness can never extinguish it.

    The PLAN'S name was Jesus ..... Jesus had to come to earth in a human earthsuit to purchase back planet earth! ..... Thus today we must simply acknowledge that Jesus was God, and Jesus died on Calvary because he had to meet the ownership criteria for planet Earth. Blood must be shed, a Life must be given .... and Jesus came to fulfill that PLAN. ..... Sorry you squeamish people but this is TRUTH here!! ....... Death took Jesus into Hades or Hell as some call it .... there He wrestled, battled and won the Title of Ownership to Planet Earth and the Keys to the gates of hell ... back from Lucifer or Satan as he is called today. ........ All said and done this is what we have to acknowledge is He did it! and He did it for you and me ... and the sin that so easily besets us He placed under His blood at calvary so we don't have to pay the penalty ..... unless of couse we chose to by rejecting this offer.

     Ok back to the MORPH .... when we accept Jesus and what He did we begin the TRANSFORMING MORPH from mortal to immortality from SIN to SINLESS ..... it is a journey that takes a lifetime. ..... and some of us just take a wee bit longer ........ but Thanks Be to God .... we are not hopeless ......

Mental Clutter #4 The Journey of Morphing - Coming Out of the Clutter

The Journey of Morphing ..... or Coming Out of the Clutter

Struggling with Sin
v14 So the trouble is not with the law, for it is spiritual and good. The trouble is with me, for I am all too human, a slave to sin. 
v15 I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate. 

    Paul will be definitely on my "I want to meet in Heaven" list .... I so identify with this ......
Any journey you take always starts with some sort of preparation .... Whether you are a Spontaneous Person or a Planner .... going on a trip requires some sort of "getting ready" ..... Some years ago I migrated approximately 700 miles from where I was born and raised. .... Over the years I have made many trips back home ... all of which took some preparation and thought.
    This Journey of Morphing is in the preparation stages .... Over the last few months God has been gently like a good gardener, staking out my stalks and branches to a firm straight rod .... and anchoring me to this "standard" .... He has had to deal me some "harsh things" and troubesome things that have crushed my very soul. .... But they have been needful ..... I have been stretched, and pulled past what I felt I could handle. I have come to a place where I feel vulnerble and weak .... but it has been for a good cause ......
v16 But if I know that what I am doing is wrong, this shows that I agree that the law is good. 
v17 So I am not the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it.
v18 And I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. I want to do what is right, but I can’t. 
v19 I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway.
 v20 But if I do what I don’t want to do, I am not really the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it.
v21 I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. 

      Woe is me !! .... these verse 16 - 21 say it all ..... and inevitably that wrong has placed me where I am at ..... seeking God and His will FINALLY instaed of my own. I am sure if anyone reads this they have all kinds of dark thoughts and ideas ..... but actually what I thought I was doing good was not God Sanctioned ..... at least not all of it .... (see And Suddenly .... another blog I wrote under Terry Root's Blogs)
I had been involved in helping a family for some years .... I became so involved that I failed to LISTEN when God said let them go ..... I hung onto them for another 2+ years ..... because I was sure that God won't tell me to let go ..... Then add my job and choices there as a manager .... some were God inspired some were not .... but I again won't listen and just ran on ahead of Him ....
v22 I love God’s law with all my heart. 
v23 But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me.  
v24 Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? 
v25 Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey God’s law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin.

     Yes .... Thank God He never gives up on us!! .... So thus my journey is beginning .... my battles are also just beginning anew in a new arena .... as I struggle and morph into Gods's will from my own. This will be a bumpy journey ... I am sure .... Nothing with neat packaging with bows and ribbons .....

Mental Clutter 3: To Many Titles ..... Not Enough Room

Not sure where to begin ….. “What is a Manager?” or What is a Wife and Mother? these are my current titles in the world today….. or ….. “What the heck am I doing?” ….. or ….. The overall picture of my life?” …… or ….. “This is the way I see things!” …..
 .... I still have several more titles being run through in my mind that I hold but ......

#1)...... Being a 60 year old female .... yahhhh!!
#2)   Living a high end stressful job ..... oh yah
#3) The effects of Home Life on a Job ... or ... The Effects of a Job on Home Life ..... Hallelujah!

    As I sit and comtemplate on my life and the current things I am reading and thinking on ..... I again realize that all that I am wrapped in a nut shell does not totally define me .... but only if my name is written in the Lamb's Book of Life, and if when all is said and done I can hear Him say "well done good and faithful servant."......
Matthew 25:21 “The master was full of praise. ‘Well done, my good and faithful servant. You have been faithful in handling this small amount, so now I will give you many more responsibilities. Let’s celebrate together!’

     This has been a week of facing truths not an easy week to say the least. Between incidents and happening that did happen and the consequences that ensued, and reading some rather strong articles about TRUTH .... and then listening to my Pastor preach on truth ...... (actually his message was on Matthew 25:1 - 13 the Ten Virgins)  but the message spoke to me about facing some truths in my life .... AGAIN! I have termed this past week as a rattler 8.0 earthquake in my life. ......... 

     I titled this post as "Too Many Titles, Not Enough Room" ..... In reality I have willingly allowed myself to be pulled into a million directions, causing divisions, multiple layered emotions & feelings, Placing so many irons so to speak in fires around me that I have figuratively had to borrow irons from other people and other places .... because I was too foolish to realize God only gives each person so many irons and He expects you to use your own! ....... as I am writing this i am hearing this gentle voice in my ear saying ..... PUFFED UP IN MYSELF'S ABILITIES!! ...... Ouch! OoWww! ......
    All said and done .... I have slow been lulled by my own self into a spiral downwards .... I choke on the word SIN but if I am going to honest and speak the TRUTH ..... I allowed SIN to creep in, I chose to make myself UNAWARE of what was taking place, and I allowed myself to become decieved into a half-truth. 
Romans 7: 7 Well then, am I suggesting that the law of God is sinful? Of course not! In fact, it was the law that showed me my sin. I would never have known that coveting is wrong if the law had not said, “You must not covet.”
v8 But sin used this command to arouse all kinds of covetous desires within me! If there were no law, sin would not have that power.
     I love the movie Dennis the Menace where Walter Matthau plays Mr. Wilson. It seemed every time Dennis wasn't suppose to touch something his fingers started to twitch and .... he just had to touch it. ..... Thats exactly what I am like ..... and to be honest I am not alone ..... this mentality has has lead me in some very unpredictable situations, ... that I am now sure God just shook His head and took His hands off .....
v9 At one time I lived without understanding the law. But when I learned the command not to covet, for instance, the power of sin came to life, 
v10 and I died. So I discovered that the law’s commands, which were supposed to bring life, brought spiritual death instead. 
v11 Sin took advantage of those commands and deceived me; it used the commands to kill me. 
      I have been slowly "dying" every since .... dying from "self inflicted" stress, issues, circumstances, happenings and problems ..... When I say self inflicted ..... my "Justice System" ( see post Mental Clutter #1) and my need to feel wanted and needed and LIKED ..... in it's self, principle wise wasn't bad .... but then when I take off and run ahead of God is when these become a disaster in my life. That's when SIN kicks in and grabs me by the "stupid" and it becomes sad sad sad!!
v12 But still, the law itself is holy, and its commands are holy and right and good.
v13 But how can that be? Did the law, which is good, cause my death? Of course not! Sin used what was good to bring about my condemnation to death. So we can see how terrible sin really is. It uses God’s good commands for its own evil purposes.

     The truth is I have had way too many titles and hats to wear ..... more of them self inflicted then God given. Matter of fact my titles and hats have almost covered up what God gave me .... and now I am on this journey to refind and re-discover who I am suppose to be and what He wants me to do.






 

Mental Clutter 2: Who Am I?

      Who am I? and who or what do I want my defining moment to be? ...... We all have a self image .... some of us are more aware of it then others nevertheless we all have one. Who will I see looking back at me when I look into the mirror of life? ......
       I know who I have been, I started out as a daughter, a first grandchild , and a first granddaughter , and a great granddaughter, a niece, a cousin & a child @ birth, that was very simple .....
      Then came my siblings ...... I became a sister and the eldest child of my parents . From there the list gets a bit complicated.
       School .... I was a student, a classmate, a friend, a target for those that bullied others, a loner. As I aged I became a teenager, a girlfriend, an enemy,  Independent, Artistic,  ....... A Rebel.
      Then my identity became a wife and mother @ 16 years of age. I had my son. I became a parent. I became a daughter-in-law & a sister-in-law, and an aunt.
       At church which has always been part of my life ..... a helper, a teacher, a leader, a parishioner , a member
       My world enlarged, I became an employee, a co-worker, I became a legal driver of a vehicle, a bus driver, a Tractor trailer driver, a cashier, ..... a renter, a bill payer, a decision maker, a Boss / Supervisor / Manager.
       I easily listed 36 hats that I have wore in my life ..... 36 different positions, 36 different types of personalities I was required to function in.

      I frequently hear multiple personality syndrome ..... I guess I classify! 

      I don't want to downplay or poke fun at those who have clinically diagnosed multiple personality issues ...... I also feel that the medical profession tends to hype up this "affliction" also. I am acquainted with some families who have had loved ones who have serious issues and are truly diagnosed with a mental disorder. My prayers, heart, and utmost respect go out to these individuals who live with this as a constant way of life. 

     What I would like to do is address "WHO ARE WE, WHO ARE YOU? WHO IS ME?  and look at the various aspects we face as human beings. Life is a constant ..... from the moment we are a one cell being in our mother's womb to eternity ..... Life happens. For some of us it's a "road trip" on  multiple surfaced planet earth!  For others it is a journey of stops and starts, ups and downs. For others it is an adventure to seek and discover something new around every nook and corner.  Some may describe a roller coaster ride, a merry go-round and the spook house all rolled into one as their life's trip. For the majority of us we don't think too much about it. We just keep going ..... somewhere.
     
     My philosophy in life has migrated as I have become older .... from "Put off to tomorrow anything you can get away with and have fun while your doing it" ..... to  "Just Do It", "Just Get it Done", and " Deal with it". I don't stress over my changes ..... from care free youth to a certified covered up gray hair with blonde and wrinkle barer. I love life ...... Has the trip or journey been without bumps, lumps and mountains? Absolutely not!

     Can I define who I am? ..... on this end of life, I am a wife, mother, grandmother, I am a Manager of an apartment complex. But I would love to say .... Philippians 1:21 For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.  Sadly as a human on planet earth and being just plain honest ..... my life doesn't always exemplify Christ. ..... There is this human I wrestle with daily in my head & in my art on a regular basis. Romans 6: 1 What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound?
v2 God forbid! How shall we, who are dead to sin, live any longer therein?

By no means am I justifying the sin in my life .... but to expose it and place it under the blood of Jesus Christ, this is called repentance.
Romans 6:3 Know ye not that as many of us as were baptized into Jesus Christ were baptized into His death?
v4 Therefore we are buried with Him by baptism into death, that just as Christ was raised up from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life.

I was baptized at the age of 12. It took until I was in my 30's to start understanding the concept of what this act meant, I am now in my 60's and have become so "numb & calloused"to some things in life that I feel often that I have entirely quit feeling at all. Thus my journey to re-find me and who I am.
Romans 6:5 For if we have been planted together in the likeness of His death, so we shall also be in the likeness of His resurrection,  v6 knowing this: that our old man is crucified with Him, that the body of sin might be destroyed, that henceforth we should not serve sin. v7 For he that is dead is freed from sin. v8 Now if we be dead with Christ, we believe that we shall also live with Him,

The concept that there is a God that has loved me and cared for me and has stilled loved me despite who I am, and what I am, and that He made a way for me to live with Him for eternity ..... by allowing Jesus Christ His only begotten Son to suffer and die on the cross .... so He could pave the way through hell, take back the keys of death and conquer Satan so that I can live is almost mind boggling to me. Luke 15:10 Likewise I say unto you, there is joy in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner that repents.”
    The concept of sin is: Romans 7:20 And so, if I don’t do what I know is right, I am no longer the one doing these evil things. The sin that lives in me is what does them.   NO ..... This is not a concept to run around and say the devil made me do it ..... It is a warning to keep a steady vigilence over our lives because as long as planet earth exists and life here as we know it exists until Jesus returns, sin will be present.
Acts 1:9 After saying this, he was taken up into a cloud while they were watching, and they could no longer see him. 10 As they strained to see him rising into heaven, two white-robed men suddenly stood among them. 11 “Men of Galilee,” they said, “why are you standing here staring into heaven? Jesus has been taken from you into heaven, but someday he will return from heaven in the same way you saw him go!
   

Mental Clutter 1: Things that holds us back .....

       Mental clutter .... we all have it! ....... Some of us have more clutter then others. Some of us hoard our mental clutter and hang onto it like it is a matter of life and death ...... and for some it is a matter of life or death ..... ONLY our mental clutter is killing us and we refuse to let go of it.
       Where does Mental Clutter come from? ..... our senses, seeing, hearing, touch, taste & smell. My belief is the majority of it first comes from an overload of technology. Our brains were not made for this level of input, and sooner or later like and overloaded outlet our brain trips the breaker and out goes the lights ...... secondly it comes from "too many irons in the fire" ... too much drama, involved in too many things, wrong attitudes and concepts that "they need me and can't do without me" and a self proclaimed image of who we think we are that is false.
Romans 8:5-6 For they that are after the flesh do mind the things of the flesh; but they that are after the Spirit the things of the Spirit. For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace.
Nehemiah 9:17 And refused to obey, neither were mindful of thy wonders that You did among them; but hardened their necks, and in their rebellion appointed a captain to return to their bondage: but thou art a God ready to pardon, gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and of great kindness, and forsookest them not.
        Over the last several months due to and through a series of "happenings" I have been forced to face the clutter that has overtaken my thoughts & life, spread like a cancer unaware in my mind and emotions and has been squeezing the life out of me. ......... It is these thoughts, attitudes and concepts I am going to address. Where to begin is very difficult seeing how these ideas, thoughts, attitudes and concepts have been developing for years & decades I dare say. So I will start with a currently exposed attitude and go from there ......... I am going to give some of the ideas, thoughts, attitudes, and concepts I am dealing with a name ......... it will help me as I discuss them ......
1 Chronicles 16:15 Be ye mindful always of his covenant; the word which he commanded to a thousand generations;
       #1) Scar Tissue ...... Matthew 13:15 For this people's heart is waxed gross, and their ears are dull of hearing, and their eyes they have closed; lest at any time they should see with their eyes and hear with their ears, and should understand with their heart, and should be converted, and I should heal them.
    I will start with this one ...... from birth we are exposed to various sensory inputs into our ears, eyes, smell, & all our senses ...... As we become more aware of life in general some of us develop a "thickening attitude" skin, some of us a inherit "thinning attitude" skin. Some of us learn as time rolls on to let things "roll off our back like water off a ducks back in a rain storm. Others seem to absorb the storms that life sometimes throw their way and become warped and distorted in the way they think. Then there is those of us who have "Middler's skin" these are those of us who have some "thicker emotional skin" areas and then some thinner skinned areas ...... I tend to be a "Middler"  I can take hurt and pain from "certain others" & find I am very susceptible to some ...... especially family ...... as funny as it seems I can endure the same thing from both a non-attached person and a attached person ...... the attached person hurts.
          #2) Calloused Position  .... Hebrews 5:10-12 .... v10 Called of God an high priest after the order of Melchisedec. v11 Of whom we have many things to say, and hard to be uttered, seeing ye are dull of hearing. v12 For when for the time ye ought to be teachers, ye have need that one teach you again which be the first principles of the oracles of God; and are become such as have need of milk, and not of strong meat. 
    This is a state of existence  where we have been rubbed, endured, heard the "same old ... same old" so much we build up a tolerance or a lack of tolerance to certain and varying situations in our life. We have a thick thick attitude in that area. This can be any thought pattern, idea, ideal, motive or concept that we batten down the hatch, concrete in and build a bunker around it to protect it or ignore it. I tend to have done this to my "Junk Mentality" (This is physical stuff and mental stuff too)..... some have made a fortune calling it "HOARDING" ..... I just call it my mess of a collection ... I can walk by this "stuff" day in and day out and not even notice it ..... Do i lose my sight of the real issues with all this clutter? absolutely ..... is this a behind closed doors issue? not in the least!
         #3) Not Me!  James 1:22 But be ye doers of the Word and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves. v23 For if any be a hearer of the Word and not a doer, he is like unto a man beholding his natural face in a mirror; v24 for he beholds himself, and then goes his way and straightway forgets what manner of man he was. v25 But whoso looks into the perfect law of liberty and continues therein, he being not a forgetful hearer but a doer of the work, this man shall be blessed in his deed.
      Now this may sound a bit childish but there are certian things I have come to realize I have just plain said "Not Me"!!! ..... when the real truth is "ITS ME!!" SIGH!! I don't want to see the glaring truth of the matter. ..... During one of my morning conversations with God recently .... I was exploring why I have a bad attitude in some areas ..... I heard the word "FEAR" .... my response? "NOT ME!" ..... I'm not afraid of nothin ..... and slowly as only Abba Father can do ..... showed me my fears in such a way I sat there dumbfounded for a bit as the concept of "I'm Afraid" sunk in.  How can being afraid or having "Fears" cause me to wander so far into this area of mental clutter? .....
        #4) My Inner Child  .... this concept has been used by others, but I can't think of another term for it so I hope I'm not infringing on any copyright issues here.  I am using "My" as a first person account. .... Growing up poor (which I wasn't aware I was till much later in life) created some difficulties for me as a child that I didn't have a clue could cause any problems Secondly growing up the eldest of 4 kids had some cause and effects too ..... and to be honest I really didn't have a whole lot of childhood friends ..... from birth to about 11 years of age literally there were no solid friendships or attachments created. There were children across the street, down the street, around the corner and on the other side of the block, the majority of them lived in "their own homes"(we lived in a "tenant house" that belonged to the village) My father was employed by the village as a "Jack of All Trade's Handyman & Garbage Collector ..... This atmosphere caused  .... for a better term to set the stage for adults @ that time & era to allow their children to associate with me but not enought to rub off on their kids .... this created in me the desire to have people like me,  it also created in me a "Justice System" because when things went wrong, something was broken or something happened while being allowed to play for short periods of time at the neighbor children's homes  I was always blamed, due to home life and being the eldest child I already spent time being blamed for my younger siblings errors so I had developed a "thick skin" to being blamed and would quietly take the rap. ..... So in me raged the desire to be liked and my "Justice System"which often prevented me from having friends because I tended to stay away from unkind (unjust) people. ..... So I found another way .... I developed talents that were "needed" ..... but most of all I developed the "Loner" mentality ..... and put a wall up to protect my self.
    OK what does all this have to do with the "Clutter Mentality? ...... We can accumulate bad ideas, attitudes, bad ideals, bad concepts and bad motives before we even know they exist. .... NO this isn't a blame my parents, siblings, neighbors, and the world I was in for all my short comings .... this is to allow a peek into my world as I saw it as a child, and what developed from these views I had of life into my adulthood. I allowed this CLUTTER MENTALITY ...... now as I walk on my journey in this life I am documenting my awakening and my walk to DECLUTTER some things and do some "HOUSE CLEANING" ..... mentally and physically. James 1: 1 James, a servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ, To the twelve tribes which are scattered abroad: Greetings. 
v2 My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations, 
v3 knowing this: that the trying of your faith works patience.
v4 But let patience have her perfect work, that you may be perfect and entire, lacking nothing.
v5 If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all men liberally and upbraids not, and it shall be given him.
v6 But let him ask in faith, never wavering; for he that wavers is like a wave of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind.
v7 For let not that man think that he shall receive anything of the Lord.
v8 A doubleminded man is unstable in all his ways.
v9 Let the brother of low degree rejoice in that he is exalted,
v10 but the rich in that he is made low, because as the flower of the grass he shall pass away.
v11 For the sun is no sooner risen with a burning heat than it withers the grass, and the flower thereof falls, and the grace of the fashion of it perishes. So also shall the rich man fade away in his ways.
v12 Blessed is the man that endures temptation; for when he is tried, he shall receive the crown of life which the Lord hath promised to those who love Him.
v13 Let no man say when he is tempted, “I am tempted by God”; for God cannot be tempted with evil, neither tempteth He any man.
v14 But every man is tempted when he is drawn away by his own lust and enticed.
v15 Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin; and sin, when it is finished, brings forth death.
v16 Do not err, my beloved brethren.
v17 Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.