Facing the "BIG NO" in your heart.

      For every human there comes a time and season in your life when the 

"BIG NO" happens in your heart.  

Ok .... so what is the BIG NO? It can be anything from a still small voice to a deafening scream ..... when you have come to the end of your rope, any rope, an emotional trail, a relationship, a human experience,a set circumstances that YOU KNOW IT IS TIME TO GIVE IT UP OR STOP AND WALK AWAY!!
     Mine took place today April 26th 2014 @ 3:19PM. It was one of those unexpected still small voice experiences that startled me and brought me to write this down. I had laid down to take a nice Saturday afternoon nap ... slept good and awoke to being held "in position" on my right side by our faithful dogs curled up around me. I reached out to pat Cobi my 85 lb Black Lab - Blue Heeler mix who was sprawled out with his head on the pillow next to me and pressed along my back. Dezi my little Min-Pin was curled up in front of me by my chest and Abby our 65 lb Akita-Shepherd mix was sprawled along my legs in front of me, and Molly our 65 lb chocolate Lab was sprawled by my legs in back of me, and yes .....  my hubby was on the other side of the bed snoozing too (and yes we have a king size bed to accommodate them all). It was then that MOMENT OCCURRED when the still small voice said ..... NO MORE!!!  NO more people .... no more animals ...... and I said YES, I agree   no more ...... I have spent my life rescuing animals and people ..... or I should say trying to rescue people and animals ..... 
     The BIG NO has been taking place in centimeters inches and feet then to leaps, bounds and strides anyway over the last several months. The releasing of my "Family of 5"was physically, emotionally and mentally draining to a point of physical illness. I spent 3 days very ill, with the 3rd day collapsed in bed, unable to function! ..... I can no longer do this ....... God knows and now so do I. 
    My job dealing with the public demands humanity, compassion, tenacity, and hard core views on rules and regulations. Sometimes your heart can get in the way between humanity and hard core views. It has been a hurdle I have been training to jump over for a decade or two ...... I refused to give up on myself and I knew God hadn't either as the years rolled by and the training courses kept coming ......... EASY has not been a word anywhere near describing what I have been through. When your heart is full of love and compassion for all living creatures, and your love of nature moves you to rescue bugs, plants and what have you ..... your in for a long difficult road where life is concerned. I am now facing my "elder years" and yes it is OK to get older ...... this fixation and misconception of YOUTH ...... is greatly over rated.
     So back to the BIG NO moment ....... what does it mean to me? It will mean redefining who I am, what I am and which track my life is going to continue on. It will mean new adventures and new journey's down new paths I haven't been down, It will mean new feelings and new experiences that may be foreign to me. It may mean more changes in the attitude department (SIGH .. UGH!!) BUT ..... I am positive of one thing ..... This has been ordered by my Heavenly Father and He is totally capable of seeing me through any changes He has set in motion.